@SabotagedSmoke: Sorry I romantically ran a seagull feather across your lips.
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@ksej: "Having sex for money is bad because it is counterfeiting feelings" wow dude, I have bad news about every other customer service job ever
@TheCatWhisprer: Forgot to use a coupon my wife gave me so now I have to hide it like it's a dead body.
@rockymomax: ME: (before I bought a fanny pack) I wish I had something to carry this baby ME: (after I bought a fanny pack) the baby doesn't fit in here
@DanMentos: 18yo me (naive, unrefined): I just ate a block of cheese 42yo me (worldly, sophisticated): I just ate a wheel of cheese