@topaz_kell: Sorry I rubbed your belly for good luck, wealth and prosperity.
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@NicCageMatch: The turkey is the luckiest one at the Thanksgiving table because it's already dead.
@simoncholland: Me: You know, one nice thing about being snowed in all weekend is we haven't had to spend any money. Wife: (clicking add to cart) So nice.
@Chumpstring: [used car] ME: my credit's bad SALESMAN: k ME: i'm a criminal SALESMAN: no law against that ME: i'm on the run SALESMAN: then you need a car
@Black__Elvis: I used to think my neighbors were racist but that thoughtful burning cross they put in my yard proved to be a great source of natural light.