@Book_Krazy: Sorry I said "nice phone" when you showed me a photo of your baby.
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@BringDaNoyz: "What kind of dog do you have?" "Half Boxer, 1/4 Poodle, 1/8 Tibetan Mastiff, 1/8 Catahoula Leopard Dog" "And what kind of cat?" "Orange"
@KalvinMacleod: WIFE: how old is your daughter? WIFE’S FRIEND: she’s eight going on nine. ME: *whispering* That’s how numbers work
@Kyle_Lippert: Avril: I want a divorce. You aren't a sk8er boi. So see ya later boi. Chad: This is how you remind me of what I really am?!
@simoncholland: One good thing about having kids is that they are sick every time I get invited to something I don't want to do.