@5hael: Sorry I threw sliced bread at you when you were taking a duck face selfie
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@Bluestmoon_: *Deletes 34 unheard voicemail messages from phone. *Adds "extremely organized" to resume.
@MichaelTrying: If I were Spock, I would spend 24 hours a day saying things like "get out of my Vulcan face" and "are you Vulcan kidding me?"
@BeerBatterBeard: The lack of paparazzi at this BBQ makes me think that my aunt can probably stop referring to her potato salad as "famous."
@rockstarfish: Today, coworker deemed herself "unscareable". Now I have no choice but to hide in the backseat of her car with an axe & correct her grammar.