@audipenny: Sorry I was asleep when you texted me and just woke up when we ran into each other just now
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@BromanConsul: the devil has a tape recorder containing the sounds you made when you sang aloud with a group but didn't actually know the words
@AmishPornStar1: It's almost summer and I'm only three stomach flus and a couple tapeworms away from my beach body!!!
@Playing_Dad: [God, wasted, creating humans] Angel: How do they cool themselves off? God: *takes a drink* Salt water comes out of them. Angel: How...Ok.