@Midgetspar: Sorry I'm late. My dog ate my car.
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@mandysparklerxo: You'll never say "wrong hole" more often than when you're trying to help a toddler put on gloves.
@ElleOhHell: Roses are red violets are blue celery is green bees are black and yellow please help me I can't stop pumpkins are orange satan is vermillion
@DirtMcTurd: Just reported a car stolen because the people inside are black and the stick figures on the window were white
@MableGertrude: If I was a bodybuilder I would slather up with grease and slide to work instead of driving to save money.