@BuckyIsotope: Sorry ISIS but we already have a religious state that nobody likes and is full of people that hate modern thinking: it's called Kansas.
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@mrtruthandsoul: "Do you know why I pulled you over?" "You thought I'd like your pretty lights?" "Recite the alphabet backwards" "I can't even do that sober"
@YourYakiri: You know that confused look old people get when looking at new technology? I'm like that, but with salad.
@AndDesist: I accept your apology. Can I borrow your phone? I need to cancel the hit I put out on you.
@bridger_w: When I die, please bury me wrapped in a sheet. That way I won't have to look for one when I become a ghost