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@frankzulla: "Ohhh, a knife! What are you gonna do, stab me or something?" - Guy about to get stabbed bad
@perfect_boxx: I was asked to name my top 10 most favorite books. I don't have 10 so I just started naming insects.
@RoosterMustache: *pulls away from kissing my girlfriend's twin* TWIN: she'll never find out about us ME: thanks dude you're a trustworthy guy