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@dmc1138: When I see a piece of gum in the urinal, I think of how painful that piss must've been for that guy.
@TeejayRush: Marijuana is not a gateway drug... I have never been smoking weed and thought, "I know what this needs! Meth!..."
@Tmoney68: At my funeral, I'm stipulating in my will that after the eulogy is read the crowd can have 15 minutes for rebuttal, just to be fair.
@XplodingUnicorn: My 3-year-old put a blanket over her head and ran around like it was an invisibility cloak, but not for long. It made walls invisible, too.