@iamspacegirl: Spider-Man, hanging right in front of your face when you turn on the bathroom light.
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@TheBoydP: Spoiler alert: Doctor Strange could not become a Sorcerer Supreme until he learned to like sour cream.
@realHamOnWry: I got a new cat from the inner city shelter. So far he seems fine, except for needing to go outside every hour for a cigarette.
@3sunzzz: When you ask your waiter for an extra pickle, don't wink. It can easily be misinterpreted.
@LindaInDisguise: Me: When I was lying in bed, I found this huge lump. I need it removed. Doctor: Ma'am, that's your husband. Me: And your point is...?