@iamspacegirl: Spider-Man, hanging right in front of your face when you turn on the bathroom light.
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@CulturedRuffian: Cat 911: What's your emergency? Cat: I knocked everything off the tables now I'm scared! Cat 911: Seriously? Cat: No, LOL! Cat 911: LOL!
@MarloMeekins: 1. Get preg 2. Transfer ur soul to fetus using Satanic alchemy 3. Give birth to yourself 4. Old body dies 5. Be a baby
@flashember: *Wildebeest film crew clatters into David Attenborough's bedroom* ATTENBOROUGH: What the- WILDEBEEST DIRECTOR: HOW DO YOU LIKE IT DAVID
@jordan_stratton: GOD: Eyelashes ANGEL: What do they do? GOD: Protect eyes ANGEL: And? GOD: Get into people's eyes. It's extremely painful. ANGEL: Are you ok?