@briancthayer: Spiders were super disappointed when they finally saw the world wide web.
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@Biraahwa: Her: *smiles* You fill those out very nicely. Me: (looks at jeans)Thanks. Bank Teller: Sir, could you please pass back the forms? Me: Ohh!
@Steelers1972: My superpower is destroying the neighbors living room from 100 yards with nothing but her cat and my laser pointer.
@matsmoustache: I don't even understand Fantasy Football. There are no Dragons, Wizards, or hot ass Elven chicks. I call bullshit.
@AmnesiaRose: My alarm is set to the sound of a heart monitor's flatline so I startle awake every morning and think, "whew. Close call."