@briancthayer: Spiders were super disappointed when they finally saw the world wide web.
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@OhSweetCharity: If you love someone, set them free. When they come back, because they will, make sure you are extremely happy with someone better looking.
@0point5twins: STUDENT: what's it like being drunk? TEACHER: see those 6 desks? A drunk person would see 12. STUDENT: there are only 3 desks.
@KKAlThani: Laughter is the best medicine. Depression is the best food. Happiness is the best animal. I don't know since we're clearly making stuff up.
@TomItUp: "Objection your honor, the defense is badg-" BADGERING THE WITNESS! JINX! You can't talk. *Judge gives a respectful nod* "Case dismissed."