@thispartyislame: Sprayed a spider with some Davidoff Cool Water & it didn't die. Now I'm just stuck with a spider that I wanna bang.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@onion_an: [jumps in getaway car after bank robbery] "They said no I couldn't have any money" Damn it, they make it look so easy in the movies
@loribuckmajor: Sometimes when my family is especially ungrateful, I don't wash the vegetables when I make their salads.
@whatkylasaid: We only cook with fresh, local ingredients so tonight we're grilling our neighbor's cat.