@thispartyislame: Sprayed a spider with some Davidoff Cool Water & it didn't die. Now I'm just stuck with a spider that I wanna bang.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@trojansauce: BOSS: tell me about susanne ME: *takes a drag of cigarette* ah, the one that got away BOSS: you're a zoo keeper none of them should get away
@TheTweetOfGod: What do Me, Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny have in common? You guessed it: we're all white.
@jenlaw_11: And satan said "let all the opinions of strangers on social media have an absurdly large effect on you" and it was so
@OhNoSheTwitnt: Trump is blaming Sanders supporters for the violence at his rally because you can't truly be Hitler until you blame a Jew for your problems.