@joeldanger: Squirrels are just rats who blow dry their tails.
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@theshantilly: *glamorously folds laundry *seductively wipes off countertops *slowly bends over to pick up toys *sexily trips over the cat...
@ch000ch: date: why are u talking to me like i'm a news anchor me: sorry i do it when i'm nervous. back to you, karen.
@KenJennings: Landlocked countries with beach volleyball teams: who do you think you're fooling?
@misfarber: Anthropic principle: the universe must be as it is in order for us to perceive it Anthropomorphic principle: look, I'm a talking principle!