@joeldanger: Squirrels are just rats who blow dry their tails.
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@purplefuzzygirl: I don't get why he counts the beer before he leaves to work... There's never any left when he comes home. Idiot.
@GloriaFallon123: A woman told me at dinner she liked me because I'm "not afraid to eat bread"--so I'm done with socializing for at least a year thanks
@Phook75: Looking at our latest Comcast bill and I can only pray that our daughter has zero aspirations for college