@joeldanger: Squirrels are just rats who blow dry their tails.
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@KyleMcDowell86: "Wanna see videos from my vacation?" *shows home video of me eating a raccoon under a bridge "This is the wrong video" "No this is right"
@HatfieldAnne: You could eat off the floor in this bathroom, but that's just a euphemism. We have a dining room.
@shita3yosays: Nice try "unknown" caller, but I don't answer when my family calls so what chance did you think you had?