@CrapLocalNews: Breaking news:
@_mindflakes: Me: Siri how much moss is it safe to eat
Siri: I wasn't built for this
Me: Siri, the moss
Siri: Please let me go back to the phone factory
@WineMummy: Sorry I had sex with your hot gardener, but in my defense, you did say that I needed Jesus in me.
@PellMull: Everyone is unique.
Except you.
You are not unique.
You are the only not unique person in human history.
@ToneLoaf: If you beep your horn .004 seconds after the light changes green, I will shut off the car, lay on the hood and feed the birds for an hour.
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