@MarcusTheToken: St. Patrick's Day is the day we all watch Ghost and Dirty Dancing in honor of Patrick Swayze.
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@TheEllenShow: Scientists found there may not be as many benefits to flossing as we thought. Guess none of them have ever been to a party with spinach dip.
@ItsLaTourette: It's so unsettling meeting a baby with a grown man's name. No I don't want to hold Keith but can he look over my investment portfolio for me
@Sickayduh: *sees commercial* "Talk to your kids about drugs before its too late" "Kiddo. Kitchen. Now" - Yeah? "This is oregano. Don't get ripped off"
@TrueTorontoGirl: Dave: I don't want to sound stupid.... Me: Then stop right there and say nothing.