@NickMcNevich: Stalker? Me? Nooooo. But you should call your mom, she left you a message yesterday while you were sleeping. I muted it so you could rest
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@trevso_electric: You are like snow. White. Pretty to look at. I used to like to play with you but now I'll pay someone to get rid of you.
@DanMentos: "So Dave died" Dave from work or Dave who never follows through on things "Both. it was a suicide pact" *dave walks in* hey guys
@philco816: *hands stranger a condom S: I don't need this Me: Yes, you do. I saw the way you pulled out of your driveway. Your pull out game is weak
@3sunzzz: My doctor said I need to drink more water every day, so I have started putting ice cubes in my vodka.