@rickolantern: *stands on scanner at self checkout, weighing self after keying in mango code, just to see what net worth is in mangoes
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@GavinProbably: How did Hitler tie his shoes? In knotsies. (The unfollow button is only a click away)
@InternetHippo: [thoughts of person talking to me]: He's furrowing his brow, he must really be listening! [my brain]: How do cows make cheese
@AbrasiveGhost: GOD: [as a kid] DINOSAURS! GOD: [as a teenager] You will know the profound sadness of existence, humans.