@rickolantern: *stands on scanner at self checkout, weighing self after keying in mango code, just to see what net worth is in mangoes
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@rickkondell: The plural of beer is beer, which is very convenient when you are explaining to your wife why you were late coming home from work.
@kumailn: He-Man wasn't gay. He was just uninterested in Teela and was very good friends with a man named Fisto.
@UNTRESOR: Dad, who's Daniel Day-Lewis? *Dad peers out the blinds* He could be anyone, son. *Mom starts weeping* He could be anyone.