@rickolantern: *stands on scanner at self checkout, weighing self after keying in mango code, just to see what net worth is in mangoes
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@seamussaid: Commander: ARCHERS READY Archer: (to guy next to him) dude tbh I was zoned out wtf we supposed to be shooting at
@JessBWatson: I'm not sure what I did wrong but the pile of LEGOs left on the bath mat while I was in the shower seems like some kind of threat.
@AHundredElbows: "We just want to find someone who will-" *sly grin* -Finish our sentences? "Exactly." -death row inmates
@dafloydsta: WIFE: You said you were going to put the dog down ME: *in tears* I TRIED BUT HE HAD SOME REALLY DEVASTATING COMEBACKS