@rickolantern: *stands on scanner at self checkout, weighing self after keying in mango code, just to see what net worth is in mangoes
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@GrantTanaka: Waitress: Can I take this out of the way for you? Me: [glances at wife] uh…sure Wife: SHE MEANS THE PLATE, IDIOT
@WheelTod: Interviewer: It says on your resume "attention to detail" Me: Uh huh. Interviewer: And right below that it says "attention to detail"