@mattZillaaaa: Starbucks needs a separate line for people who say "um"
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@IamEnidColeslaw: you know who else had a "fun hat phase"? Abe Lincoln. and we all know what happened to THAT guy
@dafloydsta: [couples therapy] ME: She thinks I make bad decisions WIFE: He traded our car for a skateboard THERAPIST: *writing notes* This guy rules
@aveuaskew: "Why are the balloon bouquets more expensive than packaged balloons? It's just air!" Exactly "What?" It's inflation "I hate you"
@robfee: This is what we really need to remember from the gold and white or blue and black dress debate.