@mattZillaaaa: Starbucks needs a separate line for people who say "um"
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@bananainches: Guys, I just got myself a new liquor cabinet! The salesperson keeps calling it a 3 bedroom house for some reason. but its a liquor cabinet.
@SardonicTart: 10: Mom what's a metaphor? Me: My life is a train wreck. 10: I know Mom, but what is a metaphor?
@AminaMarx: update: the light went out in my fridge so i had to eat everything so it wouldn't get scared