@mattZillaaaa: Starbucks needs a separate line for people who say "um"
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@Parentpains: According to the police report, waking up in your lover's arms is only romantic when they know how you got in their house.
@Home_Halfway: Skywritten letters: SUSAN I DON'T HAVE A LOT OF MONEY FOR THIS WRITING BUT THIS IS HOW I WANTED TO PROPOSE; WILL YOU MAR
@jwoodham: Whenever someone tells me they like country music, I just look them in the eyes and ask "which country?"