@Stella1070: Started the mower for the 1st time this year.36 pulls & then I passed out.When I came to, yard had crop circles & the beagle had a mohawk.
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@QwertyJones3: "Want to come watch the game Saturday at 8:00?" Well I'm going rollerskating at 1:00, so yeah I should be out of the hospital by then.
@DanMentos: [first date] "Tell me two interesting things about yourself" well I lie when I'm nervous… "ok…" and I invented oatmeal
@Matt_The_1st: Me: yes, I'll take the free burger Cashier: sir, you have to buy one to get one Me: I only want one though, the free one
@gojarbe: "and this lake shall be called Superior" all the other Great Lakes: "k wow we're like right here"