@airhrs: i still think this meme was really special

@NintenDom: I just got off the phone with God. He's pretty bummed out. Poor guy has a huge crush on an atheist, but she doesn't even know he exists.

@yonewt: Listening to "Bad Company" by Bad Company from their album "Bad Company" how do they come up with this stuff

@MondayPajamas: My new phone has fingerprint recognition security technology and now I can't open my phone unless I'm eating fried chicken

@causticbob: The Water Board sent me a notice saying that my bill was a year old, I obviously apologised for forgetting, and sent them a birthday card.