@daemonic3: Starting a cover band called "A Book" so no one can judge us.
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@Sarcasticsapien: [walks up to coworker's desk] I know I don't say this often enough, but thank you for not showing me pictures of your kids.
@dragnut: Picture someone stepping down off a curb that they didn't realize was there. Now you can say you've seen me dance.
@SwedishCanary: I had a call from a charity asking me to donate old clothes for starving people. I told them anybody who fits into my clothes isn't starving
@iwearaonesie: Such bullshit that people stop saying "You ate it all! Good job!" once you reach a certain age