@lilgapeach30: Stepped on an action figure in the shower and simultaneously invented six new cuss words in four different languages.
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@wtfhuman: Is it 5 seconds from when it hits the floor or when I see it? I just noticed a skittle under my desk. I don't remember eating skittles.
@pleatedjeans: worst place to be stung by bees is the club bc it just looks like you're doing cool dance moves & sure u win the dance off but at what cost
@jazmasta: Ever think about an old friend and wonder what they're doing right now? They're playing on their phone. Everyone is playing on their phone.