@Kyle_Lippert: Steve Buscemi is the only reported case of the saying "If you keep making that face, it's going to get stuck that way" being true.
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@rickolantern: Went to my niece's elementary school field day last week. I won every single event. Every. Single. Event.
@MelvinofYork: I saw a lady at work today doing “breathing exercises” and realized for the first time how lucky I was that breathing came naturally to me.
@Henry_3k: When your wife asks if men think about sex every 7 seconds the correct answer is "I think of you all the time dear" & not "Sex with who?".
@NakedHangover: I'm not saying delivering a baby is easy, but I'm pretty sure all I need is a box, some tape, and a stamp.