@robdelaney: Steve Jobs' entire legacy is invalidated by the shortness of the iPhone charger's cord.
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@envydatropic: They say all dogs eventually look like their owners........that's unfortunate for your dog
@lilgapeach30: Who the hell decided "have a happy period" was an okay thing to write on maxi pads? "NOT WORTH THE JAIL TIME" would have been more relevant.
@mrtruthandsoul: Nurse: The doctor will be with you shortly...do you want me to close the door? Me: Do you wanna watch? Nurse: *closes door*