@TheTweetOfGod: Sticks and stones may break your bones. Also good: lead pipes.
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@Westoff123: Waking on campus and some girl said, "I like you a lot." And I turned around and said thank you and realized she talking to the guy with her
@pabstdriver: I can usually tell how productive I've been at work, by the battery life of my phone.
@NurseSeymour: Waitress: need anything else? Me: yes, a cup of black coffee. W: and how would u like your coffee? M: uhhh..black and in a cup?