@MaryannSaintM: Stop asking me to vote for your kid in contests. I'm too nice of a person to tell you I'm surprised you got laid in the first place.
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@Vodkantots: 9: My teacher doesn't wear makeup like you do. I guess she doesn't need it because she's younger. Me: Get out of the car.
@frankzulla: "Well maybe they shouldn't make soap out of animal fat if they didn't want people to eat it!" I yell from the emergency room, mouth foaming
@iAmDelFreaky: Me: I wonder what the wicked witch's name is. 7: Ding Dong. Me: What? 7: The song says, Ding Dong the Witch is dead. Me: Oh. My. God. 😂
@Amburglar_: "Ok J Lo, we have a movie for you." "Is the male lead obsessed with me?" "Yes." "I'll do it."