@IGotsSmarts: "Stop pointing at my daughter!" - Kanye West yells at a compass.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Swishergirl24: Doctor: You have bronchitis Me: OMG I've always wanted a dinosaur!What do I feed it?
@HairyJew4Life: The doctor just told my girlfriend and I that the baby is coming early. Like father, like son.
@poizngrl: The difference between kids waking you up and an alarm clock, is that you can throw the alarm across the room
@PeachesMcPeach: I'm at my sexiest when I'm at a stoplight and a teenage boy is checking me out then suddenly realizes his horrific mistake.