@Smooheed: Stop screaming! I thought you'd appreciate having someone to pass you a towel when you got out of the shower
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@kyry5: The reason I switched from a backpack to a messenger bag is so that I look more classy and professional carrying nothing but snacks to work.
@JKNenagh: My wife and I use the pull-out method of birth control where we pull out our phones and ignore each other every night
@therealeatwood: ARTEMIS: No man shall boast he has seen Artemis bathe! *turns Actæon into a stag* [Artemis nudes go viral, 2.2M viewers turn into stags]
@interwebmemes: 2016: No way will Trump win the election 2017: No way will President Trump fire all those nukes 2018: No way we're doing what those Apes say