@indiedaylie: Storks leave cute babies. Crows leave ugly babies. Swallows leave no babies!
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@leifromloihi: [pulls away from kissing] do you ever pretend nfl players with dreadlocks swinging around under their helmets are predators
@: By age 35, you should have figured out how to spell “bananas” without having to mentally sing Hollaback Girl
@Xoolun: A friend came over visibly shaken. He said he had just slept with his 3rd cousin. I told him, if it upsets you that much quit counting them.