@indiedaylie: Storks leave cute babies. Crows leave ugly babies. Swallows leave no babies!
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@newLettuce: Me: *gripping weapon, hiding* Today I slay the troll that controls the bridge Toll booth operator (on the phone, watching me): Yeah he's back, and he's holding a pool noodle
@mommy_cusses: Settle down, school picture day packages. I don't need a body pillow with my son's face embroidered on it for $400.
@squirrel74wkgn: Me: What time are we leaving? Wife: In 3 or 4 hours Me: Ok, I’ll be waiting in the car