@aysashaya: Strip search? ... OK, but I'm going to need some background music.
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@Manda_like_wine: My cat just started kneading my back in bed and I said "not now" so wish us luck we're officially married.
@Brianhopecomedy: 5 year old: "That's a big truck!" "It's a moving truck." "ALL TRUCKS MOVE." Why am I the one that feels like an idiot?
@missekay: People that say a watched pot never boils clearly don't understand the second law of thermodynamics or are blind.
@BitterKrust: "Does this hurt?" "YES!" "What about this?" "OW!" *Dr. writes notes* "Patient shows symptoms of pain when stabbed with knife. Keep updates."