@ConcernedSirGuy: Stupid seal at the zoo would not sing "kiss by a rose." REFUND!
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@AudreyPorne: [2.13am] me: when cows die do they become cow ghosts? imagine being haunted by a cow ghost. him: *deletes my number*
@mikescollins: "1990 called, they want their shirt back." "...why didn't you warn them about 9/11?"
@DeanB15: Straight guys on twitter, If you haven't been hit on by a gay guy on here take a long look at yourself & figure out what's wrong with you.
@WheelTod: [Date] Her: Any hobbies? Me: Monging mostly. Her: Huh? Me: I'm a monger Her: Huh? Me: Iron, fish, war... You name it -- I'll monger it