@SciencePorn: Such acute joke.
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@BrainFumbles: Cop: Know why I pulled u over? Me: [slams fist on dash] NO, WHY?! Cop: Settle down sir Me: [marries, has kids, gives up ambitions] Cop: ...
@KimmyMonte: LETS SHARE EMBARRASSING STORIES. me first: i saw Brad Pitt at a bar back in the late 90’s. he was smoking so i walked up & asked for a light he handed me his lighter but i didn’t have a cigarette so i flicked on the lighter & said “oh cool it works” gave it back & walked away
@T_Bonezzz_: Nicholson: You want answers?! Cruise: I want the truth!! Nicholson: YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH! Cruise: mmk... how bout a little hint?
@wilw: "Miss Yates, why didn't Sam and Frodo just use the eagles to fly the ring to Mount Doom?" - Ted Cruz.