@SciencePorn: Such acute joke.
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@PlopWaffle: Interviewer : So you're super fast at math? Me : Yup I : Ok, what's 346x48? Me : 804 I : That's not correct Me : Fast though.
@ehdannyboy: FACT: Uma Thurman is the only person to ever have been named by someone with a mouthful of food.
@birbigs: Instead of presents, give your kids "presence." Then explain how homonyms can be hilarious. Then leave forever.