@Paulmay018: Suggested movie theater prices: Adults - $9.00, Under 12 - $ 6.00, Under 3 - $249.00
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@KeetPotato: [at fancy-dress party shouting over all the barking] "YOU NEED TO LEAVE" me dressed as a giant vacuum cleaner: "I DIDNT KNOW YOU HAD 6 DOGS"
@NATxHAN: Me: Santa, why are women so scary? Santa: dude come on, I make $8.50 an hour, get off me.
@LoneWolfStories: Her: Let's go shopping. Me: In your dreams. Her: The boutique has Wi-Fi. Me: Why are we still here?
@jonnysun: "the names bond, james bond" [5 min later] STARBUCKS BARISTA: i gota frappe for borbjorbple