@atanenhaus: Super convenient that my arms came with cup holders.
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@david8hughes: [bday party] Mum: happy birthday son Me: wow that's a huge cake! Mum: its full of bees Me: what Mum [backing away]: I said it's cream cheese
@PlopWaffle: Interviewer : So you're super fast at math? Me : Yup I : Ok, what's 346x48? Me : 804 I : That's not correct Me : Fast though.
@Darlainky: I'm not saying that I haven't incorporated math into my adult life. I'm just saying I could've dropped out after elementary school.
@RatCasket: [ISIS cuts off some dudes heads] Whoa thats messed up you better quit it! [ISIS breaks old rocks] OKAY WE HAVE TO STOP THEM NOW.