@Cheeseboy22: Sure I could get off the couch & put new batteries in this remote but instead I am going to hold it high above my head & at different angles
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@TheHyyyype: [creation of insects] LIGHTNING BUG: I will illuminate the night BEE: I will pollinate flowers FLY: I will eat shit and die
@lazerdoov: If you're wondering if humans are idiots we hunt ducks with guns when they will walk right up to you if you have bread
@Thynebear: *walks up to bouncer* "sorry pal, this is a private country club" *peeks inside* [everybody's fist pumping hard as heck to kenny chesney]
@WilliamAder: I've been hearing noises in the house for a while now and while Twitter was down last night I discovered I have a wife!