@Henry_3k: Sure, Michelle Obama said those words first but Melania Trump had the imagination to say them like an operative in a cold war spy thriller.
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@hippieswordfish: THERAPIST: how do you feel ME: with my hands THERAPIST: no, like on the inside ME: ohhh...idk probably kinda squishy and weird
@Love_bug1016: If only the workout your thumbs get from scrolling on your phone would go to your abs.
@iwearaonesie: wife: I TOLD you not to try a 360 with the grocery cart me: It was really nice when everyone started clapping after they saw I was ok though