@myonlymizztake: Sure, sex is cool and all, but have you ever experienced same day delivery from Amazon?
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@jake_lach: You think you have your anger issues under control until someone starts telling an important story while they're chewing
@fowlerism: [3am] WIFE: *nudging my shoulder* I can't sleep, do you wanna... ME: *suddenly awake* WIFE: ...teach me calculus? ME: We begin, as we must, with the concept of a derivative
@LoveNLunchmeat: Be vague. Be very vague. Be so vague that eventually you're not even sure what you just said.