@donni: Surprise parties are great. Depress your friend by pretending to forget their birthday, then terrify them briefly
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@garrettbarry70: There's nothing more exciting than waking up with a half eaten burger in your hand.
@celestinelea90: Was in the hot tub a full 3 minutes before I noticed the floating chipmunk so probably don't ask me questions about a crime scene
@Mr_Kapowski: shipwreck diary day 425: saw a ship and crew waved but didn't want to look dumb and wave back if they were waving to someone behind me
@squirrel74wkgn: One time, I pulled my pants down to moon someone & accidentally opened the car door instead of the window & rolled down the street naked.