@ObscureGent: Sweep her off her feet, but not like the bad guy from Karate Kid.
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@duplicitron: Mail some pirates a treasure map leading to the exact spot where you need a hole dug for a tree.
@voldemortsbicep: Some ppl are like, bury me and plant a tree so I live on in nature and I'm like, same but plant potatoes so I can live on in french fries
@noog: *lil wayne begins typing lyrics into mocrosoft word* *paperclip pops onto screen* Do you mean "digger"?
@ibid78: *opens car door to drop kid off at school & sees kool aid instead* If you're here then.. [cut to kid bursting through a wall like 'oh yeah']