@AmishPornStar1: Sweet potatoes are just regular potatoes that remember birthdays and anniversaries.
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@abbycohenwl: My retirement plan is to buy several red polo shirts & anytime I need anything, go steal it from Target
@robdelaney: Take 1/5th the $ car insurance companies spend on advertising, apply it to health care, and everyone can have golden organs and never die.
@robdelaney: Woman at drive-thru just called me "honey." Headed home to tell my wife to take a god damn hike.