@AmishPornStar1: Sweet potatoes are just regular potatoes that remember birthdays and anniversaries.
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@HoneyWooWoo: Once I get the creative juices flowing, I realize how disgusting that really sounds.
@texasstalkermom: I only have Facebook to keep track of where everyone I know is going to be, so I don't show up there.
@OzCricketFan81: Special shout out to the CIA, who were pouring cold water on people BEFORE the "ice bucket challenge" made it cool
@egg_dog: Teacher: ok class bring your dioramas to the front of the class Me: [holding a bowl of diahorrea] oh no…