Funny Tweeter

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cop jokes

@Mostly_Cheese: Cop: You’re driving on the wrong side of the road.
Driver: Sorry, I’m English.
Cop: (shouting) It’s the wrong soid of the roade ye was droivin down, innit?

@OctopusCavemann: If you get pulled over by a cop, the smartest thing you can do is try and say “license and registration” at the same time he does and call “jinx” so he can’t say anything else.

@GoodZiIIa: [Arrested for prank calling police]

Cop: You get one phone call

Me: ok

*cop's phone rings*

Me: is your refrigerator running

@ClichedOut: COP: pull over

ME: lol no it's a cardigan

@BoogTweets: Me: *Sitting in traffic*

Cop: Get back in your car

@TyWebb1980: *Sad trombone noise*

Cop [holding breathalyser] “How the hell did you do that?”

@Shot_Of_Cabo: Cop 1: Where did you come from?

Cop 2: Where did you go?

Cotton Eyed Joe: I want a lawyer.

@darksidedeb: Police officer: You get to make one phone call.

Me: Do I have to?

@ThaJawn: Cop: Second time this week

Me: I thought I could be brave

C: Yeah I know, this slide is pretty high for you, now just take my hand

M: ok

@sarcasm_inc: Good cop: where were you last Wednesday?
Cotton Eye Joe cop: where did you come from, where did you go