@OctopusCaveman: Apparently, if a cop tells you to do something, you’re supposed to do it even if he doesn’t say “Simon says.”
@girl_a_whirl: Bad cop *plants drugs in perps car*
Gardener cop *adds mulch & Miracle-Gro®*
@jjhartinger: hubs: why the makeup?
me: we're cooking dinner together.
me: and, I want to look nice when the police arrive.
@KimmyMonte: Good cop: Ok relax. We are just gonna ask you a few questions
Fashion police: Who are you wearing, you piece of shit?
@T_Bonezzz_: [Gets Pulled Over]
Cop: Have u been drinking?
Me: No osiffer
C: What did u call me?
M: I mean orifice
M: ...office chair?
C: Get out
@bornmiserable: COP: Do you know why I stopped you?
HIM: We were going too fast?
COP: Yes. Get to know her first. Don't just talk about yourself either.
@ArfMeasures: PICASSO: She had one eye on her forehead, and her nose was on the side of her face
COP: Maybe someone else should describe the suspect
@nwntwrth: a gang that's all undercover cops but they all think they're the only undercover cop in the gang