@stevevsninjas: Take it from me; I have reverse kleptomania.
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@Storminika: The rodents in my home are so damn big, they step in the glue traps and wear them like flip-flops around the house.
@Corncleats: *flexing arms* I'd like you to meet my two good friends, Sledge and- "Hammer?" Holy shit that's way cooler.. I was gonna say Sledge 2
@iwearaonesie: *spins in chair* Ah, Mr. Bond. I’ve been expect- *cat sitting in my lap freaks out and scratches the shit out of me*