@ch000ch: take me to the middle of the desert and just leave me there
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@trevso_electric: I would rather weave a suit out of my grandfather's pubic hair than "pull an all-nighter" with you.
@KatMcSnatch: My ex sent me a text saying "please delete my number..." I sent one back saying "who's this?"
@craiguito: If your partner says "if anything happens to me, I want you to meet someone new," "anything" doesn't include getting stuck in a traffic jam
@JElvisWeinstein: My brain knows that there's a guy doing work on my roof today, but my nervous system keeps acting like the house is under attack.