@MizzSlaughter: Take your time, Officer. I have nothing but respect for the law. Your imminent death on this dark side street can wait.
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@LuvPug: A good friend will delete your browser history for you, but a best friend will make your chalk lines smaller
@AGreaterMonster: If cupcakes could talk, boy, there sure would be a lot of screaming in my house.
@CaptainJerkwad: Hate being a funeral director "why'd u take the job?" I inherited it from my dad "You could've just declined it" And lose my first customer?
@LosLos__: Doc: Your insurance won't cover it all. Me: What if I sewed myself shut? Doc: Suture self.