@STitusR: Taking my dog out in below zero weather brings one thought to mind. I should have gotten a cat.
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@bornmiserable: in addition to Lady Doritos, Doritos plans to make Alpha Male Doritos, which will be just shards of broken glass
@djdarrellripley: Her: Your house has a lot of cool stuff in it... Who plays the piano? Me: Pretty much anybody who is trying to get on somebody's nerves.
@WilliamRodgers: My buddy's PRETTY drunk... So I took the car key off of his keychain... He's been trying to start his car with a house key for 4 hours now