@STitusR: Taking my dog out in below zero weather brings one thought to mind. I should have gotten a cat.
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@novicefather: Pro tip: If a woman asks you how she looks, the correct answer is not "like Dan Aykroyd."
@SheBanggs: I'm going to name my son Red so he'll grow up to be a wise sportswriter or the prison inmate who knows how to get things. Hopefully both.
@TheTweetOfGod: Jesus was the original child star who fell in with the wrong crowd and died young.