@panmidwest: *talking to a cool girl at a house party while pretending my right foot is not currently stuck in the dog's water bowl*
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@AristotlesNZ: Hey! I took my diaper off, see? Oh! Look! I found your power drill! Gonna go see if it fits an outlet.. Bye! -My 2yo when I'm on the toilet
@sip_at_home_mom: I always hated videos of animals being shot with tranquilizer darts to trap and transport them. Now, I'm calculating the toddler dosage.
@DurtMcHurtt: My obsession with building townhouses is going to give me a complex one of these days.