@SveldtSmelt: Talking to women is a lot like origami. I don't know where to start and I always end up screaming.
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@TuffyNyC: Kids, make sure you learn how to use a protractor in case one day you're a teacher & have to show kids how to use a protractor.
@mrtruthandsoul: "Do you know why I pulled you over?" "You thought I'd like your pretty lights?" "Recite the alphabet backwards" "I can't even do that sober"
@VodkaThursday: Next wedding Im saying its a open bar but when u get there its going to be cash.Just b/c its a 3rd wedding doesnt mean u can skip it slacker