@SveldtSmelt: Talking to women is a lot like origami. I don't know where to start and I always end up screaming.
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@fro_vo: KID: can i eat a tide pod MOM: no KID: this is bullshit MOM: don’t use foul language go wash your mouth out with soap this instant
@huntigula: [interview] BOSS: So you have zero experience? ME: Hire me & I'll give u a sweet nickname B: That's absurd.. ME: Lazerwolf B: Welcome aboard
@KKAlThani: Cop: you're under arrest Me: no you are *cop arrests me* Me: fine but next time it's my turn
@bazecraze: If you're thinking of getting a hairless cat, go the extra mile and get a catless cat.