@tastefactory: Tattoos are a nice way to forever honor loved ones, like family members who have passed away, or skulls with bat wings that have passed away
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@shwebby2: If you want to interrogate someone, do it in German You could say "I love you and brought you flowers" and I'd shit myself!
@urgeekisshowing: I'm writing a horror story. It's about a girl who forgets her headphones and her colleagues think it's ok to talk to her. So much blood.
@XplodingUnicorn: Me: *explains idea* Boss: That's the dumbest idea ever Me:*clears throat* *repeats exact same idea in a British accent* Boss: Brilliant!
@carrietini: According to maxipad commercials, all women are full of blue windshield washer fluid.