@TumblrsFunnies: tax benefits
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@samlymatters: If your coffee shop has a passive aggressive "no wifi pretend it's the old days" sign I'm gonna smoke in there & pay 50 cents for coffee.
@tinynietzsche: The five second rule doesn't apply to babies. You can pick them up anytime after dropping.
@WarrenHolstein: Melania Trump says her husband is "not Hitler." That's true. Hitler had a mustache and adult-sized hands.