@TumblrsFunnies: tax benefits
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@XplodingUnicorn: Wife: The kids opened the "private" drawer in my nightstand. Me: THE drawer? Wife: Yeah. Great. There go our Oreos.
@MUMSIEesq: If my 3YO's fortune was "you will eat the paper inside the cookie and then cry about it for 2 hrs," this Chinese restaurant is VERY accurate
@o__0Dev: My boss really hates that I shortened his name to Dick.... Especially since his name is Steve