@TumblrsFunnies: tax benefits
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@BrettDruck: They are making gluten free communion wafers now. I guess you eat them because they represent the beach-body of Christ.
@mattZillaaaa: Saw a young couple holding hands today & it reminded me that I need to buy a bottle of vodka
@pixelatedboat: "I'm the world champion of hearing," I lied to the girl at the bar. 20 minutes later the real world champion burst in and hit me in the jaw