@JennyJohnsonHi5: Taylor Swift seems like the kind of chick who'd stare at her boyfriend while he's sleeping.
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@XplodingUnicorn: Turning on a guy is like flipping a light switch. Turning on a woman is like wiring that switch & then building a nuclear plant to power it.
@BakedBrotatoes: [Judas standing alone waiting to be picked for dodgeball] -Come on it was one time guys *Jesus drags the CPR dummy to his side of the gym*
@ojedge: DOCTOR: "Ok, now PUSH!" WOMAN IN LABOUR: "Should I be doing this in my state?" DR: [leaning out of car window] "Less talky, more pushy."