@ZWindsor_: Teacher- "How much is a gram?" Me- "Depends on what you want" Teacher- "Out, just get out"
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@sammyrhodes: Ibuprofen is my favorite headache medicine that also sounds like a reggae professor.
@QwertyJones3: [Guy sees octopus doing squats at the gym on 4 legs] "You doing legs today?" Octopus: Yeah my fourarms hurt.
@KenTremendous: "Owen, you must hide this baby, at all costs, from Anakin Skywalker." "Okay. Should we continue to call him Luke Skywalker?" "Seems fine."
@KattsDogma: If I owned a Brazilian waxing joint, I'd call it Pubic's Cube or The Razor's Edge or Hedging Your Bets or Getting a Leg Up or Bush League or