@funnyordie: Teamwork makes the dream work.
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@XplodingUnicorn: [buys plastic lightsabers for the kids] 5-year-old daughter: Mine is broken. Me: What's wrong with it? 5: It doesn't even cut off arms.
@dave_cactus: *sees a truck* Nice. *sees a trucker* Oh, impressive. *sees a truckest* Ah yes. This is what I came for.
@BookisherBunny: When life hands you a komodo dragon suddenly the times you got lemons seem pretty cool.