@funnyordie: Teamwork makes the dream work.
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@brookeisgolden: An underage sweater walks into a bar for the third time. The bartender says, "I'm gonna need to see your cardigan."
@sfjdotcom: The way I dealt with that unexpected cobweb to the face tells me I probably wouldn't have been much use in Vietnam.
@pembdave: Woke up this morning and the alarm clock was laughing at me....then I realized it was upside down and the time was 7:07