@funnyordie: Teamwork makes the dream work.
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@Brentweets: "In case of emergency break glass" Who do you think I am? Some sort of karate expert? I can't even open a Cheetos bag.
@Jeffwni: - "I love Beyoncé... - Whatever floats your boat mate. - No, you're thinking of 'buoyancy'. - ..."
@AndyAsAdjective: [at oceanside seafood restaurant] Me: Is the fish fresh here? Waiter: Yes *from the kitchen, a fish blows me a kiss & waves seductively*
@KentWGraham: There should be an Olympic event that requires participants to remove a single cube from an ice cube tray.