@funnyordie: Teamwork makes the dream work.
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@mstern68: [Creation] God: These dinosaurs are ruining the place! Angel: Maybe they'll evolve? G: *throws a rock* A: Sick shot! G: Next time, apes
@VancityReynolds: I'd walk through fire for my daughter. Well not FIRE, because it's dangerous. But a super humid room. But not too humid, because my hair.
@AnotherFunnyGuy: If something rolls off of my plate... I eat it first, as punishment for trying to run away.
@Darlainky: Instead of asking "Are you still watching?" Netflix just said "Hey, pace yourself, we're almost out of shows."